i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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