Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize