come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
