why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
