Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
