I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You are a genius and a whore.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
