Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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