it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
