guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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