90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
