2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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