I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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