I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
