haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
There's even glitter on my cock...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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