Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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