i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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