How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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