Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i out mim tonsoeep
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
