That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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