I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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