I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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