the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
