bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
