C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
