i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
