Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
