so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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