wanna go halves on a baby?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
