So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
