i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
