bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
