You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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