i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Small penises have feelings too.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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