"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize