Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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