Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
