her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
