If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
