Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
