so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
