The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
sex in a hospital.. check
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize