I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
