I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
