dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
