that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
