margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
