# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit