Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(914): View more from New York

For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.

(1-914): View more from New York

That's cute.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

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(970): View more from Colorado

i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.

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(801): View more from Utah

Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.

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(517): View more from Michigan

The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised

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