Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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