Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio

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(617): I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio http://tfl.nu/knlp

Replies (2) Good night (702) Bad night (941)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

Welcome to every minute of my life.

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(502): I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad? (1-502): Welcome to every minute of my life. http://tfl.nu/dbgu

Replies (25) Good night (2838) Bad night (941)
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(562): View more from California

he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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(562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7

Replies (13) Good night (4541) Bad night (1166)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face

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(832): She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face http://tfl.nu/40gf

Replies (23) Good night (1155) Bad night (4626)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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(401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd

Replies (42) Good night (921) Bad night (7377)
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(253): View more from Washington

Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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(253): Best. Four. Twenty. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cry0

Replies (42) Good night (6477) Bad night (1773)
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(330): View more from Ohio

you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do

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(330): you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do http://tfl.nu/wb06

Replies (13) Good night (2343) Bad night (1633)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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(862): I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism http://tfl.nu/6czv

Replies (8) Good night (3901) Bad night (1622)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

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(610): At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises http://tfl.nu/9m7h

Replies (7) Good night (2306) Bad night (762)
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(937): View more from Ohio

We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon

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(937): We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon http://tfl.nu/2kt0

Replies (12) Good night (1887) Bad night (759)
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(607): View more from New York

just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out

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(607): just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out http://tfl.nu/axwq

Replies (5) Good night (1090) Bad night (715)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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(307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh

Replies (9) Good night (1075) Bad night (440)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk

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(513): He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk http://tfl.nu/w9ix

Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (427)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?

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(720): Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps? http://tfl.nu/e9bv

Replies (3) Good night (896) Bad night (325)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Lord god protect this child

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(770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3

Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (334)

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