I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk