fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
