Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize