She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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