Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
