craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
